Regret Read online

“You know.” I lift my eyebrows. “Contraceptive injection.”

  “Oh.” The look on his face is priceless. “Right.”

  “Yeah, so we need to use extra protection for a while.” I turn my mouth down, rubbing my palms over his chest. “Sorry.”

  Zeus laughs, his arms banding tighter around me as he says, “Oh, dove.”

  “What?”

  “Think about it, baby girl.” He steps away, heading for the kitchen.

  I follow behind, frowning at his back as I try to work out why he’s not as worried as I was when I realised. Oh. Oh, yeah.

  How could I forget? “I’m such an idiot.”

  He cracks up as I flop dramatically over the back of the sofa, twisting the top off the beer he grabbed. “Dove, we could fuck bare all day, every day, and you’d have nothing to worry about.” He leans over the back of the sofa, slapping me on the arse. “How long until it kicks in again? You got the next one now, right?”

  “I’ll go Monday. The doctors couldn’t get me in before then.” I sit up straight, tucking myself to his side when he drops down next to me.

  “Nothing to worry about.” He sets a huge palm down on my knee, and then leans forward to set his beer on the coffee table.

  A silly smile stays on my face as I watch him do the mundane task of switching the TV on, flicking through the channels before he settles on a car show. It’s normal and nothing special, but considering everything we went through to get to this point, it’s my ideal of a perfect night.

  I nestle into his side, learning all about engines and suspension, shit I don’t have a care in the world about. But because it’s his passion, his interest, I take in everything I can.

  Relationships are a partnership, and if he can show so much interest and care about what makes me tick, then it’s only fair that I can do the same for him.

  “Hey, dove?”

  I twist to look up at him, heavy-lidded and sleepy. “Yeah?”

  “Love you.”

  “Love you too, babe.” I don’t think this man could do a thing to make that change.

  THIRTY

  Zeus

  My neck cracks with a roll of my shoulders, the tension built up after a day with not enough breaks. I started last Monday under the illusion that I’d be doing the same work for more pay, but as the days have gone by it’s becoming a hell of a lot more apparent that all I heard from Jerry during my interview was what I wanted to hear.

  An extra hour on Tuesday night, an early start on Thursday, a double shift Monday just gone, and now here I am on Friday about to start an extra half shift because “We need to make a name for ourselves early, so the job comes first.”

  Sure, but at what expense?

  After the shit that went down with Cerise all I wanted to do was spend quality time with Belle. Yet so far all I’ve done is sleep on the goddamn sofa until she nudges me and forces me to bed. Not to mention that now she’s working a full week, I barely see her as it is.

  I pull my phone out of my pocket as I head over to the digger—fuck the rules. If I don’t show up for dinner without a single word, Belle’s bound to lose her mind.

  She’s gone off the rails about damn near every little thing lately, acting all moody and sullen. All I can figure is I’m in the dog box for that shit with Cerise, whether I explained it or not. Who’d know? Women have always been a fucking enigma for me, and it seems age doesn’t change that.

  “Hey,” she answers, tired. “You on your way home?”

  I cringe. “Nope. Got asked to do another three or four hours. I’ll get overtime.”

  “Fan-fucking-tastic,” she drones. “Will that make up for how tired you’ll be all weekend? How can they make you do such a long day?”

  “Dove.”

  “No, Zeus.” She huffs. “You’ve come home most nights and just crashed. I feel as though I’m missing out.”

  “It’s a new job, babe. I can’t cause trouble out the gate. Trust me—I can’t be fucked doing this either, but I have a good impression to make.” I hoist myself into the cab with my free hand.

  Fuck. If I can support her while she works her arse off to get her career off the ground, why can’t she do the same with mine?

  She stays silent, the hum of the television in the background the only thing that tells me she’s still there.

  “I’ve got to get back to it, okay. Love you, dove.”

  “Love you too,” she cedes. “I’m sorry. I miss you, is all. You fall asleep before you even get to bed. I feel as though I’m home alone half the time. We barely get any time together.”

  “That’s life as a working adult, babe. It’s only temporary, okay?” I can’t fight the feeling there’s more, but until she gives me reason to believe my suspicion I’ll keep the thought to myself. “I’ll call before I head home.”

  She leaves me with a softly spoken “Okay.”

  I spend the next hour and a half digging a channel with her on my mind. She was so damn happy to make our dream a reality and move in, but ever since she has, shit has gone south. Why? Is it purely because she feels I don’t pay her enough attention? Or have all the things her parents said about us planted a seed of doubt in her mind?

  Damn—I’d spend all night awake with her to hash this out if I thought I could get away with it the next day. But it turns out John had an ounce of truth in his concerns: my body isn’t what it used to be. Fuck, some days I’ve skipped the gym because I couldn’t stomach the thought of lifting more shit, moving more things around.

  And for me, that’s unheard of.

  I jump down from the machine for my final break, hoping like hell this isn’t how it’s going to be from here on out. No sooner do I have a travel mug in one hand, and the hot water in the thermos in the other, than my goddamn phone rings. I set everything down, stepping aside so one of the shovel boys can make his coffee as I pull the phone out.

  If it’s Belle, I get the impression missing her call won’t go down all that well right now.

  Turns out it’s not.

  “Hey. Everything okay?”

  Jodie laughs. “Yeah. Don’t panic.”

  “What’s up, then?”

  “Not much. I haven’t talked to you since we had that coffee at the mall, so I thought I might stop by and see you both. Is it a bad time?”

  “Nah. I’m still at work, though. Belle’s home if you want to visit.”

  “Eh?” I catch the faint cry of Bradley. “Why are you at work at this time of night?”

  “New job.”

  “Oh, that’s right.” She sighs. “You did tell me that.” Bradley’s cry gets louder. “I’ll just put you down a moment.”

  I get back in line to make my coffee, the dull sounds of her cooing to the kid coming down the line as I stir my drink. She rustles on the other end, presumably putting the phone to her ear.

  “Sorry. He’s teething.”

  “All good.” I push down the regret that surfaces hearing her be a mum. “Did you want to come over tomorrow? Might even let you bring that jackass you’re marrying.”

  She chuckles. “Well, aren’t you kind?”

  “I think Belle would like to see you.”

  “What makes you say that?”

  I find a seat on a power box and sigh. “She’s been weird this past week.”

  “How so?” Brad sniffles—by the sound he’s close to the mouthpiece.

  “Short-tempered. I keep wondering if I’m doing something to piss her off. Did I have any annoying habits when we lived together?”

  She snorts a laugh. “Any? Which one do you want me to start with?”

  Great.

  “No,” Jodie says. “In all seriousness, you didn’t do anything different to what any other man probably does: leave the toilet seat up, drop your laundry everywhere, empty food packets in the cupboard. She might be adjusting to it, is all.”

  “She lived with that douche overseas, so it’s not as though she hasn’t shared accommodation before.” I take a sip of my co
ffee, peeling my lips back when I realise the fucking thing is too hot.

  “Maybe. But the impression I got was that he was hardly ever there, always travelling, so maybe this seeing you every day thing is overwhelming.”

  “You saying she might not want to see me that much?” Nah. “I don’t think so. She whined before about me always sleeping when I get in, said she feels like I’m not even there.”

  “And you’re asking me why she’s acting weird?” Jodie snorts. “You men are such morons sometimes.”

  “And where’s your man, huh?”

  “Working as well,” she deadpans. “He’s working on some contract that the new outfit across the highway are involved in.”

  Fuck off. “Jackson and Connell?”

  “That’s the one.” The penny drops. “Is that who you’re working for now?”

  “Mm-hmm.”

  She falls apart, uncontrollable giggles making Bradley cry. “Oh, I’m sorry. But what are the chances?”

  “Not that far-fetched, I suppose.” Still.

  The foreman signals break is over, waving his arm at our small group. I toss back the last of my coffee, sucking the dregs clean to make sure I stay as awake as possible.

  “Got to get back to it, Jodie. But make sure you do bring that arsehole over, hey?”

  “All in good time.” She hesitates to hush Brad. “Pay your girl some attention. She wouldn’t be letting you know that it bothers her if it wasn’t really on her mind.”

  “Yeah, I will.”

  Anything to make sure my dove doesn’t get the urge to fly away home.

  Anything to keep her where she belongs.

  THIRTY-ONE

  Belle

  Of course he’s working late. I cry out in frustration as the fiddly metal tabs on the back of the picture frame refuse to bend back down.

  I planned this weekend since Tuesday. Since I realised that I needed to do something pretty epic to break the news.

  “Hey, dove.”

  I shunt the present under the bed, pulling my sketchbook across so it appears as though I’ve been drawing.

  Zeus appears at the bedroom door, stripped to his underwear as always, yet more tired than I’ve ever seen him.

  “I hate how they’re making you work such long days.”

  He shrugs, flopping onto the foot of the bed, stomach first. “Jerry wants to make a good impression out of the gate, and that means a quality job at a quick turnaround.”

  “He won’t have any quality workers left if he keeps this bullshit up.”

  “Ugh.” Zeus flops an arm out toward me, telling he’s had enough of talking about work.

  “I need you to have a shower and get dressed again.”

  He lifts his head, long hair over his face as he frowns at me. “Why?”

  “I made plans.”

  Zeus rolls to his back, jackknifing to sit up when the realisation hits him. “Sharon’s car is in the driveway.”

  I nod, eyebrows raised. “I know. I asked to borrow it.”

  “When did you get that?”

  “While you were at work.”

  “Dove.” He carefully sets my drawing materials aside. “Why do I have you?”

  “What do you mean?” I scoot closer, placing his head in my lap.

  He closes his eyes as I run my fingers through his hair. “You’re right, baby. I haven’t given you a lot of attention this past week. Fuck, two, even. I don’t deserve you doing something for me; I should be doing something for you.”

  “How do you know it’s not a bad surprise?” I tease.

  He opens his eyes, piercing me with those baby blues as he smiles. “You wouldn’t be that cruel.”

  “Wouldn’t I?” Because to be honest, as excited as I am about this, I really don’t know how he’ll take the news. “Come on. You need a shower so we can hit the road.”

  He throws a mock salute. “Yes, ma’am.”

  ***

  I pull in to the car park of the hotel and leave Zeus asleep in the passenger seat as I go in to confirm our booking. I phoned ahead while he was in the shower to let them know that we were still coming.

  By the time I get back out to Sharon’s hatchback, Zeus sits sideways in the seat, his legs slung out the open door.

  “This your surprise?” He grins as I approach.

  “Yep.” I reach out for him, doing my best to hoist his heavy arse out of the car. “I figured a dirty weekend away might be in order since when we’re at home we just stay in our routine.”

  He pushes to his feet, chuckling as I lead him to the back of the car to get the bags I snuck out while he dressed.

  He follows me to our room, stupid grin on his face as I unlock the door. I push it wide, making a grand gesture for him to go first.

  “I’m so fucking lucky,” he mutters, shaking his head.

  Zeus ditches the bags, groaning as he drops them off his shoulders. “Look at the size of that bed.” He turns to look at me, concern clear in his eyes. “How much did you spend on this?”

  “Doesn’t matter.” I wave his question away. “I want you to relax, babe. We’re here to enjoy ourselves—no housework, no obligations, no visitors.”

  Zeus launches himself on the bed—the super-king barely compresses beneath his weight. He starfishes in the centre of the mattress, moaning as he lets his eyes slip closed. “Fuck, this is comfy.”

  Like he’ll notice soon. I snatch up the bag with my other expensive purchase in it, and head for the bathroom. “Back soon, baby.”

  He mumbles something incomprehensible as I slip into the adjacent room and shut the door. I’ve always been a tomboy, preferring my tank tops and shorts over dresses, so he better fucking appreciate the fact I dropped more than one hundred dollars on a lacy set of lingerie that the saleswoman convinced me was a sure winner.

  I check my reflection out in the long mirror, running my hands over my flat stomach. Things are about to change in a big way.

  After a little fluff of my hair so that it sits just right over my shoulders, I open the door, ready to seduce my man.

  My hard-come-by confidence bursts like a balloon when I catch sight of Zeus fast asleep. Fuck. I can’t be mad at him really. He works damn hard. But one night. I wanted one night.

  I step across to the bed anyway, and crawl on top. He doesn’t stir, no thanks to the fucking independent sleep zones, I bet. I had to go and pay for luxury, didn’t I? Pay half the price at a cheap motel and I could guarantee he’d be awake thanks to the rock and roll of the shot springs.

  “Babe. You awake?”

  I give him a little nudge, pissed off that even when he’s flaked out on me, the sight of the man still turns me on. Bad timing, Belle. It’s no use. There’s no point trying to wake him, especially at the end of the work week.

  “Always tomorrow,” I mutter to myself as I rise from the bed to smack the light off.

  I paid for two nights. I had just hoped I’d get two nights worth of quality time.

  But hey, I suppose when you both work over fifty hours a week, then this is quality time.

  Welcome to your adult life.

  THIRTY-TWO

  Zeus

  It takes me a moment to remember where the fuck I am when I wake. The bed is most definitely foreign—way too big to be ours. And fuck me, there’s a goddamn flat screen on the wall opposite us.

  Oh, yeah. Belle’s surprise.

  I had to have been fucking tired. She’d barely left the room last night and I was gone. Can’t even remember her coming to bed.

  I roll to my right to check, and sure enough, she’s still out beside me. A slip of silvery lace runs over her shoulder, barely visible thanks to the blankets she has pulled tight around her.

  God, I love this woman. I neglect her while working hard in the new job, and she still treats me to this.

  “Morning, dove.” I whisper the sentiment in her ear before placing a soft kiss to her temple.

  She doesn’t stir. Probably dog tired herself sinc
e she drove us here. Wherever the fuck that is. I slept most of the way, so again, I have no idea where here is. Only that it’s one hell of a hotel judging by the size of our room and the quality of the furnishings.

  Light hints around the edges of the heavy drapes, a peek at the day beyond. I drag my sorry arse out of bed and pad across to the windows. What the hell? I’m still fully dressed, only my shoes on the floor. No wonder I was so damn hot.

  The little card on the side table tells me we’re two hours south of Longdale at an alpine resort. I pull the drapes apart a fraction and peer out over our second-floor balcony. The view is nothing short of amazing. We’re situated partially up the mountainside, able to see the farmland below spread out like a tapestry. If I’ve guessed right, the mountains are behind us.

  “You just got up?” Belle’s sleepy voice pulls me from my daze.

  “Yeah.” I turn as she sits, the blankets falling away to reveal the stunning nightwear that I know for a goddamn fact is new.

  Like I’d bloody forget her wearing that. And this girl is mine. I have to be the luckiest fucking guy around—seriously.

  “I wasn’t that tired, was I?” Surely I can’t forget her in that?

  Her face sours as she turns for the bathroom. “Depends what you mean.”

  Eish. Definitely in the dog box. Whatever I did, or said, it was most definitely not the right thing.

  Belle slips into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. What the fuck do I do in a situation like this? I’m assuming I need to go in there and apologise, but when I don’t know what for, how bad will that look?

  I smack the home button on my phone to reveal the time—a little after nine—and note a new message from Jodie.

  J: We’re out and about this morning, so was wondering if you’re still keen for a catch up this afternoon?

  I cast a quick glance at the bathroom door before replying.

  Z: Belle’s taken me away for the weekend, so raincheck.

  I shed yesterday’s clothes while I wait to see if she’ll reply or leave the thread as is.

  J: You’re supposed to be spoiling her, dumbass. Go. Turn your damn phone off.

  I snort a laugh as I send the device to sleep.

  “Who was that?” Belle stands in the bathroom doorway, eyes critical and not a trace of the sexy lingerie I didn’t get enough of a look at yet.